My body doesn’t even want to eat, my sleep is betraying me with nightmares
My chest hurts, I couldn’t feel anything anymore
I cut my wrists so many times, I overdosed myself
I just wanted this to end. I want to evaporate from this world
I’m going nowhere
I asked him to come with in NFHS. Hope he says yes
Let’s go back to the start.
11/18/16 - B. :)
B asked me to go with J and him to a dog cafe this coming Saturday. Actually a few nights ago, I told him to hangout with me. But that was just a talk since my mind is crying out, I just need something to talk about and I know he’ll listen to me. He actually pmed me suddenly when I just posted something vague, he wants to know what happened. soooo okay back to the dog cafe
I was actually gonna say no. Because idk i was not in the mood to talk to anyone or to go anywhere. im feeling down and tired. So he said that J is coming with her bf. And I need to be there so that B won’t be a third wheel (HAHAHHAHA I laughed at this reason actually)
Sooooo. Okay, I don’t want to intrude their friendship even tho I know B and J. Buuuuut if Bryl wants to go okay why not. Especially it’s his first time travelling to QC alone. But I’m stil 50/50
Then night came, J pmed me saying B was actually concerned and asking for suggestions where should we go so I’ll feel better.
That was thoughtful! I think there’s no person for the past years who was actually worried for me. I mean, I’m a cheerful shit yes but deep down theres something bothering me. Anddd ughhh he’s travelling to QC for this.
And Jay hahahhaha. She’s actually going to leave us alone XD because she and her bf needs a private time as well :)
Fuck. is this a date? what should I do? what should I wear? Makeups? And what the hell im gonna sayyyy???????
sadness coming out
I’m in PUP right now. actually in a computer shop. im killing time yes. im not going to attend my Stat.
For days I’ve been feeling bad. no, for weeks. or some months. i never been so oddly feeling bad like this. It’s like the end of the world for me.
asadkjfdkls
May sasabihin ako sayo. Mamaya
ano ba yan. tinititigan ko lang picture mo, sumakit na pakiramdam ko
August 22, 2014
sabi mo saakin na “kaya mo yan”
bakit parang hindi naman
this is how to lose all feelings
Just one yesterday
seryoso ako, stop messaging me
to the girl he is in love with
Girl, have you realized how lucky are you? He who has this mixture of innocence and maturity, he who has never did things half-hearted, he who smiles even the worst of things happen, he who has been waiting for you patiently, who has been hurt but still never gave up.
Take care of him. You don’t know how much I wanted to do that part, but I only want his happiness, even if that happiness is you. Pls. Love him with all your heart